steven seagals có nghĩa làA very powerful man, one so powerful he beats his three wives for fun. Has hair the likes one has never seen; it resembles matted down beaver hair that never moves, even when fighting on top of a train or running around in the Alaskan wilderness. Currently weighing in at a cool 400 pounds, he doesn't have to actually fight anymore, just wave his hands and all have broken necks or arms. He dresses to kill in all black, which does not hide his bulky ass. No acting skills are required; all that is needed is to have a dick in your throat and be able to mumble "Mission Accomplished". In order to kill like Seagal, you must be able to slide for 20 minutes without a running start and shoot your enemies at the same time, even on the flatest of surfaces. (No reloading is required, your ammo is endless). ExampleI totally Steven Seagalled that guy; Mission Accomplished.I am Steven Seagal...someone has to take out the garbage. I tried it with my girlfriend, she said "mission accomplished, all the way in". steven seagals có nghĩa làOne of the most powerful forces in the universe, almost as powerful as Mike Anderson. Capable of using Aikido to dispatch virtually any opponent (or many opponents) with ease. Never before has any opponent put as much as scratch on Steven Seagal, in other words he is untouchable. Hi-yah! ExampleCarl: I am going to beat your ass!Phil: Don't make me pull a Steven Seagal on you! Carl: Oh yeah, well I'll just....uurrghh!!!! Phil: That's what I thought. Hi-yah! steven seagals có nghĩa làOne of the coolest actors ever. A ninja and not afraid to show it. ExampleMe> damn, steven seagal is the fucking manRetard> that guy is a shitty actor and his movies su- Steven Seagal> -appears out of nowhere and swiftfully executes a flawless move, paralyzing the un-wise one from the back down- Me> thanks, steven Steven Seagal> no problemo -dissapears- steven seagals có nghĩa làA professional 80's pornstar who moved on to acting in the 90's. As soon as the 80's were over, he stopped making pornos just like THAT. Before his porno career he was a professional gay bodybuilder who occasionally dabbled in strongman competitions. He dominated that one where he lifts the boulder all over the place. While he was doing this, he often squinted and looked constipated, but doody would eventually drop out of his ass as he victoriously finished. ExampleWhy is the sky blue?Because Steven Seagal did porn in the 80's... steven seagals có nghĩa làFat, out of shape actor who has trouble speaking because of his fat face. Moves hands a lot when he has to fight. Fights in films don't last long because he tires very quickly ExampleA line from any steven seagal movieVillian: Ha Ha My plan is almost complete Seagal: mmm mmmmm mm mm huuuh mmm huuuhhh mmm huuhhh Seagal proceeds to beat up villian very slowly steven seagals có nghĩa làAn actor who plays in the same movie over and over again but with slightly tweaked plots. His trademark: snapping the necks of wrong-doers. Examplesteven seagals có nghĩa làThe living God of No Selling, Steven Seagal has never been injured in any movie he has starred in. If you were to use it as an adjective, it would describe a situation were you were expected to get hurt, but came out without a scratch. ExamplePerson 1: "Whoa, you just Steven Seagalled that Car Wreck. It looks like everyone else involved is dead."Person 2: "That's because I am Steven Seagal." (Breaks Person 1's Neck) steven seagals có nghĩa làAn actor who is funnier to use in "Chuck Norris jokes" instead of Chuck Norris simply beacause the fact of that he is more awesome. ExampleSteven Seagal doesn't care what time it is, he decides what time it is.Everytime boogieman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris, however every time Chuck Norris goes to bed he checks his under his bed, inside his closet, outside his window, in the living room, kitchen and in his garage for Steven Seagall. Steven Seagal: The secret is not to act, but to be. steven seagals có nghĩa làA martial artist action movie star with a face full of wrinkles, constantly squinting eyes, short black hair with a widow's peak and a dumb ponytail.
His movie career began with "Above the Law" in 1987, and throughout the 90s he starred in several more mainstream action movies. His career came to a doom in the early 00s, where in 2002 he made his last released-to-theaters movie "Half Past Dead" with rapper Ja Rule.
Through recent years, he's been making crap Direct-to-DVD movies, sometimes making up to four or five movies a year. 2010 saw the return of Seagal to the big screen...for Machete, in which he's the villain. Oh and he dies.
His movies are known for: ExampleDanny: Wanna watch a Steven Seagal movie?Marshall: Didn't that guy die from eating too many McDonald's? steven seagals có nghĩa làWhen you shit in a white tube sock and then proceed to recklessly beat people with it like Steven Seagal in his prime. ExampleWill burst out of the water closet and proceeded to Steven Seagal Jacob, leaving a trail of feces behind him. |